My Dream

Despite what you thought you may have been getting yourself into when you began to read this blog... I am not telling you about some inspirational, or even a general, dream that I had, while being asleep that is. Its more the type of dream that could be referred to as a hopeful goal. Something you wish for. Now that you understand what I mean by "My Dream" I will carry on.
The dream I have is to travel. All my life I've wanted to travel, to see the world, and especially my home country of New Zealand, but over the last few recent years that wanting has grown in me, so that it is not an yearning that I have to want to travel.
There is a picture in my mind that makes me want to cry, when I think of travel and my age, and how it is unsafe for me to just... walk. I haven't seen a picture that totally captures it, but one that is helping to at the moment holds its place as my desktop background. The picture is a country road. There is something about country roads that seem to tell me of adventure, things that may come if I go for a walk on a country road. A novel waiting to be written, a song ready to be sung, a movie ready to be captured, if I could only find that road I'm looking for and travel it.

I don't expect anyone to understand these feelings of mine when even I, Ruby, myself, cannot understand them. But getting them out into typed words helps me ventilate the tears of my heart that want to cry for a reason I do not know. Its the confusion that adds to my sadness, because I don't know why I have such a longing. The not knowing of it all is what hurts so much.